


Scars

by Kittenmommy



Series: Loki and Pepper Potts: Conversations, Drinks, and Other Really Bad Ideas [33]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bonding over shared experience, Discussion of Torture, F/M, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Late Night Conversations, Mild Language, Odin's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:11:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittenmommy/pseuds/Kittenmommy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony finds Loki in the Avengers’ kitchen, his hands wrapped around a glass of amber liquid.</p><p>“Can’t sleep, huh?” he asks, getting a glass from the cupboard and pouring himself a scotch from the bottle sitting on the table in front of Loki.  </p><p>“What clued you in, Stark?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> _The Avengers_ and _Iron Man_ belong to Marvel, and I'm not making any money from this.
> 
> And a special thank you to [The Wife](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWife/pseuds/TheWife), who suggested the idea that Tony might wonder what sort of ghosts Hel sees around _him_.
> 
> * * *
> 
> This is short and (not so) sweet. The next bit will be longer, and probably quite a bit fluffier. I promise!

Tony finds Loki in the Avengers’ kitchen, his hands wrapped around a glass of amber liquid.

“Can’t sleep, huh?” he asks, getting a glass from the cupboard and pouring himself a scotch from the bottle sitting on the table in front of Loki. 

“What clued you in, Stark?” Loki’s voice drips sarcasm, and Tony frowns as he takes the seat across from him.

“It’s three AM… or thereabouts,” Tony says, sipping his scotch. “So it seemed like a safe bet.”

“Mmm.”

“JARVIS told me you were up,” Tony continues. “Hel’s still asleep… I told JARVIS to let me know if she wakes up.”

Loki nods, not looking at him.

Tony frowns and leans forward in his seat. “So, what’s keeping you awake?”

“Many things. You?”

“I asked you first,” Tony says, paragon of maturity that he is.

Loki sighs and sips his scotch. “I have had… troubling dreams.” He brings a hand up to his mouth to touch his lips lightly in a gesture that’s so absent that Tony’s not sure that Loki is even aware that he’s doing it.

Tony nods, waiting for Loki to continue. When no more information seems to be forthcoming, Tony plunges on ahead.

“I can’t sleep because I keep thinking about what Hel must see when she looks at me… the horrors.”

Loki drops his hand and frowns. “Truly, Stark, you are not _that_ repulsive,” he murmurs.

Tony absently shoots him the bird.

“The _dead people_ , you fucker. I’m the Merchant of Death, remember? Betcha I have a few unhappy ghosts hanging around me.”

Loki considers this. “I suppose it’s possible,” he finally allows.

“’ _Possible_ ’?” Tony repeats dubiously. “I’d say it’s pretty fucking likely!” 

“Yes,” Loki agrees with a sigh. “Probably more so than not.” He drains his scotch and pours himself another. They drink in silence for a few moments, and then:

“You could ask her,” Loki suggests off-handedly. “She will tell you truthfully what she sees.”

“Yeah, I thought about that,” Tony admits. “But… I’m kinda afraid of what the answer will be.”

Loki nods, understanding. “Yes.”

Tony finishes his scotch, and Loki wordlessly pours him another.

“So,” Tony says, taking a drink. “Your turn. What were you dreaming about? Monsters hiding under the bed? Oh, wait, _you’re_ the monster hiding under the bed, aren’t you? Were you hiding under _your own_ bed? ’Cause that would be so meta that – ”

“You would not understand,” Loki says quietly.

“Yeah?” Tony leans back in his seat. “Try me.”

“I am not sure how much Thor has told you.”

“About what?”

Loki sips his drink. “About… what happened… _after_ my invasion attempt.”

“Thor told us you’d been punished,” Tony replies with a shrug. “He wouldn’t say more than that… he absolutely refused to talk about it, in fact.”

“He did not tell you, then, that the All-Father bade Thor hold me down while he stitched my mouth shut.”

Tony’s eyes are huge. “Seriously?”

“Yes, Stark,” Loki says, exasperated. “ _Seriously_.”

“But… but… Thor…” Tony says intelligently.

“The All-Father told him that if he did not cooperate, my punishment would be even _worse_.”

“Jesus jumped-up Christ on a motorcycle.”

“And having taken my voice, the All-Father sealed my magic and sent me away.”

“Away to where?” Tony asks, though by this point he’s not sure he really wants to know.

“Where do you think, Stark? He sent me to the Chitauri.”

Tony blinks.

And then he lets loose a torrent of profanity that would make a seasoned sailor blush like a nun.

“So you see.”

Tony _does_ see.

He looks into Loki’s emerald eyes and sees the same haunted look that he saw in the mirror every day right after – 

He doesn’t even like to _think_ about it, let alone _talk_ about it.

But…

Tony gulps down his scotch and pours himself another. Without asking, he tops off Loki’s glass too, filling it so full that scotch runs over the rim and pours down over Loki's long fingers.

And then Tony begins to talk.

* * *

Tony tells Loki about Afghanistan.

Loki listens, absently licking scotch from his fingers as Tony describes something called “waterboarding”. 

He nods when Tony talks about being kept in a small dark cell, only taken out for another beating. How long this went on, Tony can’t say. It seemed like eternity.

Loki sips his scotch and listens to Tony describe being tied to a chair, unable to move as the needles were slid carefully between his neck vertebrae. 

And then the torturers turned on the electricity.

“It was like death,” Tony says, and then nothing more for a long moment.

He finishes his scotch and pours another, noting that “I think we’re gonna need more scotch.”.

“Stark, you do not have to – ”

“Yeah, I _do_.”

He gets up and finds another bottle of scotch in the cupboard, tossing the empty one in the recycling bin.

He resumes his seat and sips his scotch.

And then he tells Loki the rest. The things he couldn’t tell _anyone_ , not even Pepper.

* * *

When he’s finished talking, Tony’s eyes are red-rimmed but tearless.

And Loki has listened to it all without interrupting, without even _speaking_ , and the look in his eyes is certainly not pity.

Tony wouldn’t have been able to bear _that_.

No. The look in Loki’s eyes is _understanding_.

“Such things… they are… ah, not unknown outside of Midgard,” Loki allows, and then will not say any more on the subject.

They drink in silence for a while.

And then, Loki speaks: “Your mentor… your surrogate father… he sent you off to be tortured.”

“Yep,” Tony agrees, sipping his scotch. “He was quite a guy. Bet Odin would’ve _loved_ him… they have a lot in common.”

“Yes,” Loki agrees softly, and brings his fingers up to touch his lips again. “Pepper tells me that she can’t see the scars,” he says in that same soft tone. “But _I_ can see them. I see them every time I look in a mirror.”

Tony nods wordlessly.

“Yeah. I know.”

They drink.

FINIS.


End file.
